poems

scars

Time is mocking me.
It’s looking down on me, laughing
Grinning in his power to race through happiness
And slow churn the burns of sorrow.
I pray to you every night, Time
Please erase him from me.

-I didn’t know his burns would scar

a.absi

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You are right 

i knew what love was then
i had felt it
i had flown
grown
melted
and burned in it

and while every love
was different
they were all the same
compared to you
you see
they were all wrong
and you
are right

a.absi

The Hopeless Romantic

I begged to be loved by your very best heart

It didn’t happen so I pushed us apart.

Finally I received everything I’d ever want

But I had then become the one with the cold heart

So I took it for granted and tore it apart.

So now, you see the hopeless romantic in me,

the hopeless romantic in hopeless romantic

Constantly taking what they have for granted

Because they’re always wanting more,

Always over dramatic

Giving all your heart to people and expecting it all back

Not giving oneself their whole heart because they’ve taken that for granted.

So now I’ll tell my grandkids the story about the man that got away

I’ll tell them how to care for a heart the best way

And make sure it doesn’t run away.

But I’ll watch them do the same as me

And let their hopeless heart take the best love away.

-A

(IMG via stylestudiesx)

An Ocean For Your Thoughts

c

I can’t exactly explain what I feel when I watch the ocean.

It makes me feel so small, so alone, yet so important in the strangest way. It relaxes me in a way that no one or anything ever could. And when I’m away from it, too far away, I stare at pictures of it and its beauty and still feel its breeze and amazement.

A simple blue, the darkness and even the lightest of them but they are still the deepest. A sad blue. They go so deep where no one can reach. They turn in my soul.

We’re the same, you know, the ocean and I. Wandering deep down into the unknown and reaching out for the unseen.

·A

Dear Love

Dear Love,
I find you in my mind
In my morning
My night
My dreams
My strolls
Through the park.
You’re everywhere I go
Even when
You’re standing
At someone else’s
Door.

Dear Love,
You’ve torn out my heart
And left it
Yet I still come back
For more.
You’ve shackled it
To the floor
And kept it.
And that’s okay
Because I’m yours
Forevermore.

Dear Love,
There’s no going back
To the start
Our ‘new leaves’
Have fallen
Oh so far.
Winter is coming
It’ll be too cold
Out here
For a lonely heart.
I am destined to freeze
I am falling apart.

So dear Love,
Remember me
As your heart
And soul.
Remember me
As your love
That never grew old.
Remember me
When I am not around
Because maybe
I will mean more then
Than I have now.

-AA

Little Things

It used to be the little things.

Handstands in Grandma’s living room

Sea monkey’s

Twenty games of solitaire (in a row)

Butterfly catchers

Cutting worms in half to make two

Picking petals off a flower

“He loves me, He loves me not”.

Our tiny hands

Our tiny worlds.

The rain was just another day to play in the mud

Bugs were a mystery

And you’d fall asleep at night twirling Daddy’s hair.

That’s all that life was

And all that life had to be.

Now we spend rainy days on the couch

And dodging each drop as we run out to the car (God forbid it ruined our hair)

Mud smearing across the car doors

And your new shoes are ruined.

Bugs remind you of caskets and death

And when they put Grandma into the ground.

Daddy’s hair is gone

Ever since his head was scarred

From the alcohol.

Solitaire brings you back to Grandpa

Who can’t get out of his hospital bed.

And no flower can fix your lonely nights

From constant fights.

But that’s life.

Those are the big things.

•A

Washing Away

The waves of the night crash down

Leaving a mist of salt that finds its way through my window.

That night, we sleep like the sea

Tossing and turning in rapid motion.

Some nights, the waves of a high tide swallow our souls and not a word is to be said

No soft touch

No existence

No look into his eyes.

But in those calm nights, where the waves slide onto the shore and a single shush of water can be heard,

We are one.

Your eyes, shining like the moon

The warmth of your skin wrapped around me

Swallowing me.

And then my heart beats again in that perfect, slow rhythm

Like the water sliding onto the shore on a calm,

summer night.

•A