life

Journal Entry 3: 30 Days in Cali…

I’ve been a bad blogger …again. I hope that every time I add to my Journal Entry chronicles, I am not self-confessing my lack of interaction. But yes, I’ve been a bad blogger again.

I’ve been scared. I feel like I’ve used that word a lot since I’ve started my journal entries – but this time around, I’ve been scared that I would jinx the happiness.

These past 30 days have been the best days of my life. 

I promised to myself at the end of 2016 that 2017 was going to be my year – my year to do what’s right for me – my year to be strong, to adventure, to make life happen for myself. I was worried that moving to Cali could actually result in me failing that. I was in a new place with one person to call my friend who had her own life to live. I worked from home, which isn’t the best way to make friends. I had no way to get around, not that I really knew where to go. The cost of living was haunting me. I was scared. I was scared of failure and loneliness.

But then it all so quickly started to fall into place and all that fear went away. And then I was scared to write. The words being printed indefinitely on paper made me feel like they would be left there as a closing and make it all come to an end. I would be jinxed. But before this I ran around the entire house knocking on every piece of wood in sight – so, here goes nothing…

They say that when things are meant to be, they work out in mysterious ways. A large part of me wants to believe that that’s true – that this move was meant to be, that everything happens for a reason, that secretly our inner being knows what’s right for us and gets us there, eventually.

This experience for me thus far has been a fairy-tale… And maybe, just maybe, it’s not a fairy-tale at all – maybe it’s just how life should be, I just haven’t lived like this yet …until now.

Since the immediate second I stepped foot into Santa Barbara I’ve been taken in by my loving cousin who would tear down bridges for me (…literally). She brought me into her world and made me a friend to everyone she knew. I was worried that, like being in a relationship somewhere new, I would then in result be living her life instead of one of my own – but oddly enough, I wasn’t.

I have new cousins who aren’t my cousins at all but have me over for family dinners, and don’t second guess my company when I crash their Sunday beer pong games (even without the OG cuz), whose kids run around calling my name to jump on the trampoline and take silly selfies with me. They add me to their group texts, invite me to movie nights and for glasses of wine and hunt down bagel bites with me at every Starbucks in town.

The same goes for every other friend of my cousins that I’ve been introduced to – I can now call them my own. Every day, without fail, someone is asking me to hang out. Fashion shows, bottle service and sparklers on my birthday, classy parties in giant houses in giant hills, photo-shoot’s, signing my first lease, consuming my body length in burritos, sun bathing on beaches with palm trees in them…

I took my first shot of tequila, drank more in the past 30 days than I have conclusively in my entire life, champed through an oyster shooter and even ate cow just for the sake of the In-N-Out experience.

The list goes on… I went into this experience very scared, overwhelmed, sad… I set my expectations very, very low and did some burying of the excitement I did have. I forced myself, instance after instance, to not get my hopes up.

So now I ask you – Is it really true, when they say what’s meant to be will be? Or is it that we (I) tend to aggressively overthink things into such intense mannerisms that we destroy all sense of hope and expectation until we take the risk, so that it has to end up being more amazing than we anticipated? Maybe knocking our expectations down (not aggressively, but you know what I mean) is what we need sometimes to be grateful and remind us that life and people really are amazing? (Not to get confused here – I mean, get out of your own inner fairy-tale of expectations – I don’t mean let people treat you like sh*t).

I’m not exactly sure what direction I’m going in with this post, because there’s so many different things I’ve learned in my 30 days of this new life so far – So I’ll give you the sum of it:

1. Life is what you make it. Plain and simple. 2. YOLO 3. Take the risk. ALWAYS. 4. It will all work out. 5. If you’re scared to do something that you really want to do, just do it. Chances are at the end of the day it will be one of the best decisions you have ever made. 6. Be kind. Smile wherever you go. Let things roll – it’s usually useless to get worked up. And don’t forget to make friends wherever you go. 7. There really are nice, inviting, friendly people out there – sometimes it just takes time to find them. Don’t let any selfishness and ignorance you’ve experienced with others bleed into your judgments of humans as a whole. 8. Even if it’s not what you want in the moment, force yourself to do what’s best for you (we all have that little gut monster telling us what’s right). You will look back, even in a weeks time, and thank yourself for it. 9. Always be genuinely you. No matter how weird or imperfect it is. If you are raw from the get-go, then your friends will be your friends – everyone will love and choose to have you around for the crazy human that you are, not who you think they want you to be. 10. Look at everything, and yourself, as a constant learning experience. Take it in – all of it.

30 days down, a lifetime to go.

xx,

Al

 

Journal Entry One: You Gave Me A Sense of Purpose

I have been using my second blog, Deeper Than Words, to post my creative writing; poems, short stories, lifestyle and journal entry posts. I figured that from now on I will put more of them here. After all, no blogger is just one specific genre behind a computer – they are human, and you should see the human side of me too. So, I’m going to post a series of journal entries – meaning, posts where I reflect on situations I find myself in in life; posts about those moments when I take a step back from the situation and think about it more as a whole. These posts can get pretty personal and sometimes very deep, but hey, that’s a part of being a writer. You can’t really be a good one unless you lay it all out there on the table. So, here it goes. Journal Entry One…

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You gave me a sense of purpose.

You gave me a sense of purpose.

You gave me a sense of purpose.

The words continued to replay over and over in my head. “I… you know…” he stumbled, “It’s just when you were here you gave me a sense of purpose. I could have helped you. Or, well, I could have tried to. And now you’re not here and it’s just that I don’t have the incentive, the reminder, the bond with you that we have when you are around to remind me that I could have a purpose, that I could be good for something. It’s just hard. It’s hard.”

It hit me like one of those giant, unexpected waves I’ve almost drowned in on the shores of the Hamptons. The taller-than-you waves that curl over your body, that you might actually in reality expect but aren’t seriously prepared for even though you think there’s some way that you will indeed be able to handle its strength. I hated the waves. I hate the ocean but at the same time it’s my favorite thing. I’m afraid of it, and there aren’t many things that I am actually afraid of. It reminds me so much of this moment because this, too, this deep moment of honesty that had been stored for at a minimum of 4 years since I had been living away from my dad had been built up and then released over me. It hit me hard, and I tried to handle its strength but it brought me down anyway, and I was drowning in it.

I finally reached the top and felt the sun on my face. Gasping for air, I rubbed the salt out of my eyes, found my feet and buried them deep and hard into the sand below me and calmed myself. Sweet relief, sweet gratification, purity.

He knew it and I knew it too, that with the truth comes more truth. Before I could even speak he had filled in my words, “But I want you to live your life. That’s where you want to be and what you want to do and that’s what I want for you too, your happiness and to make your own choices.” I had my life to live and couldn’t change my destination or course to be what someone else needed rather than what I did. He understood me, and all at once I understood him too. I think I always did – I always knew this unspoken truth – it was just one that I wanted to stay under the water. I didn’t want to feel it, drowning me, yet it still did. And with the relief of it, I still felt the grains of salt burying themselves into my skin. They soon too will wash away, but I couldn’t help but think how unfair it was that they took me under in the first place. It hit me exactly how he didn’t want it to but needed it to all at the same time.

It felt unfair for him to throw that upon me. I am here and he is there and I wish every day for him to be better. I have tried with my kindest strength to be an incentive for his sobriety – calls every other day if not daily, understanding, loving tones, genuine love, kindness, motivating words. I thought that was enough but it never was and so I gave up.

Those moments, underneath, seeing glances of the sun shine through into the darkness as I searched my way to the top, the salt burning my eyes, are panic mode. Honesty is my favorite action yet the most unpredictable and breathtaking, for good and bad reasons of course, and instantly sweeps you off your feet and into panic. You see, that suffocating moment led me to a deeper understanding.

Maybe sometimes it is the healthiest decision to relieve yourself of your deepest feelings, but for others that relief can leave a burden. But then again, maybe sometimes that burden on us can be turned into less of a burden and more into a deeper understanding and perspective into that persons thoughts and your relationship with them. I’ve come to learn that the truth will, at one time or another, be revealed whether it’s from the person themselves or through some other revealing that might not be as pleasant – and that’s in a emotional and literal way. But regardless, the truth conquers all. Maintaining a healthy relationship is all about communication – honesty, perspective, understanding. All of these things my dad and I had together, and whether the truth did drown me for that moment or not, it was the gentle rawness of his feelings, the truth of it all, that I appreciated more than anything.

I think that’s something we all can (or more so need to) understand and appreciate – that sometimes the pain of drowning for a moment brings us the utter beauty and appreciation of the fresh air pulling deep into our lungs, and the sun shining on our skin.

 

P.S. – Yes, the header picture is me on the shore of the beach (known as ‘The End of the World’) in the Hamptons, NY. I was on vacation with my family there. We stayed in a tiny, old little hotel that legitimately rested on the ocean shore. The 6 of us would step out of our one bedroom shack at sunset and listen to the waves pouring onto our doorstep. It was magical. And yes, I almost drowned. True story (but then again, I can be a bit dramatic). XO

 

Kimchi Blue…

Dress: Urban Outfitters

Shoes: Zara

Sunnies: RayBan

It was an ongoing joke on the 4th of July to count and see how many people complimented this dress, and there were so many we couldn’t even keep track! It’s just so casually, effortlessly beautiful and elegant. I know I use the term effortless quite a lot, but if I could erase every other time I’ve used it and change the definition of it to this dress, I would. Though the front is very lowcut, thanks to my lack of packages it didn’t seem revealing. It’s very light, breezy and cool in the heat, but does shrink in the wash! I almost lost it when I struggled to button it around my ribs, but as the day went on it loosend back to its original fit. It’s a true beauty!

Staying True To You – The Blue Hair Dilemma…

“I can’t agree, it’s too much… I would never.”

“Anything but that… Don’t do that.”

“I don’t want to wake up in the morning next to that.”
I heard it all. It was as if the world was ending just from merely mentioning the idea of adding any type of color to my hair that wasn’t the typical. I was so sure I wanted this too, and for so long! It had been nearly over a year and I never stepped up to the plate, which for me is odd, as I typically tend to do spontaneous things that are out of norm. But the words were replaying in my head and eating me alive, and the panic had set in. I found myself starring in the mirror at my hair for longer than what was normal and thinking about how much I loved it the way it was, which was something I never felt before. And then, cracking under pressure, I told myself I wouldn’t do it… ‘how could I do it? I look great!’ and I soon found myself searching online for “safer” options.
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Then I gave myself a good smack in the face –> THIS IS NOT ME. “Safer options”?? That’s just not my style. I’m the artsy type; The spontaneous type; The ‘I like ugly things’ type! Why was I negotiating myself out of my true character because of the opinions of others who were nothing like me!? I was frustrated with myself. I felt at that moment that I didn’t even know me. Was I who everyone wanted me to be, or was I who I wanted to be? Was I going to let everyone else tell me what to do? Was I really going to let others opinions of me sway my own opinions and decisions for myself? I thought I was going to vomit – and I know that sounds so dramatic, but I felt nauseous at an abnormal degree. That’s exactly the type of person I have never wanted to be – scared to do out of the box things because of others opinions. Who even cares if anyone likes it if I like it? And it’s just hair… It grows back, can be dyed over again, can even be cut off!
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I escaped to my friend’s apartment for the weekend and it was then that I realized it. As she encouraged me to do it, talked about her hair-goals herself, and bounced around the room with me to our favorite tunes, I really realized it. There are going to be tons of people in your life that are nothing like you, and you’re going to love them for that – but you can’t let their opinions of what you like persuade you, nor can you let anyone’s, really. Therefore, I don’t say this lightly, it’s great to have friends of all types, but never forget to surround yourself with people that are very much like you, and not just people, but your environment. Find that place, somewhere out there in this world that you automatically feel in love with even for the first time. It’s those people and those places that will bring out your truest, you-est you, and we all need that. We become who we are because of the people and places we surround ourselves with. How does one enhance their creative soul and be creative to the best of their ability in a non-creative environment? For instance, all of my poetry is usually about love, and my best writing and deepest emotions about love all come out when it’s written in bed, my comfort zone, next to the person I love… it makes sense, right?
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So don’t settle. Don’t have friends who you don’t click with right away. Even if they aren’t anything like you, if you click with them they will bring out amazing sides of you, some that you didn’t even know you had, and don’t live somewhere that doesn’t describe who you are. Move. It’s more simple than people make it out to be. And always do what you want to initially. Your gut and instincts are your truest self talking to you. Don’t ever let anyone, or the status quo, influence your style, your choices in friends, hobbies, etc. What makes you special is being you and no one else, and not catering to other peoples desires or opinions. If they love you, they will still continue to do so anyway, for the you inside, not your blue hair.
xo, Al.
p.s., they all loved it (;
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If You’re Not Following This IGer, You Need to Reevaluate Your Feed…

With all the celebrities, insta-famous fashion bloggers and beauty gurus, I find myself feeling pretty down after a long scroll through social media. ‘How can she look that good, all the time!?’ ‘Is that even real!? Ugh, clearly it’s real it’s on Insta!!’ Which is exactly the opposite of the truth, but through all the filters and selfie poses, Instagram makes the unreal more than real. I always find it most interesting to look through the “Explore” section, as a lot of what appears there is catered to the type of Instagram’s you follow and those in relation to the people you follow, and was passing my boredom away with a look-through of mine, which of course contained make-up tutorials, models, and fitness junkies. But to my surprise and excitement, I landed upon the ridiculously funny and sarcastic account of Celeste Barber, an actor who took to Instagram to mock celebrities and their ridiculous lifestyles and photos. Hysterical captions and crazy faces, Celeste has earned herself a large following of over 800,000 users. Automatically I had to follow her and had to write this post to share with all of you; if anyone even for a second is made to feel self conscious and out down by any celebrity of insta-figure, you need to be following Celeste. In fact, regardless of your care for celebrities, or your feed, for a laugh and some realism, you need to be following her.

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“Don’t you hate it when your doing your nails in and you get a CRAMP!?!?”

 

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“Setting up a @gofundme account to buy @chrissyteigen a bed. Pushing two chairs together to lie down is BULLSHIT.”

 

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“Not tonight babe, I’m tired.”

 

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“I seem to have lost my clothes. Again.”

 

Not only does she mock celebrities ridiculous pictures in unrealistic outfits and poses and relates them to your real life daily human being, but she also reveals the flaws in the outlook of our current culture, calling out the facts on pictures like both of Kourtney and Kim Kardashian’s revealing posts:

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“This is a photo I’m recreating of @kourtneykardash. I’m pretty sure we are promoting talent, strength, and women’s empowerment. Not just sex, as I originally thought.”

 

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“New thought for the day.”

This photo-shoot of couple Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik and their falsified, highly admired relationship:

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“Real love is perfect, flawless, acrobatic, stylised, timed and photogenic.”

And the unrealistic idea that this picture of Kim and Kanye is at all normal, because let’s be honest, it isn’t and all because they are the celebrities that they are does not make it at all class[y].

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Lastly, my favorite, this hysterical caption about what all of us really go through during flights…

 

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“Thank you @virginaustralia for sitting me in between 2 men who were 6 weeks into their ‘depderant is for losers’ regime. And a big #shoutout to #jetsmart for f*cking NOTHING.”

 

Overall her sarcastic wit and realism sheds light on these not-so-realistic celebrity lifestyles and lets us all remember that we are all human and it’s okay.  

See more of her Instagram here.

 

 

 

Ettika X The Style Studies…

I’ve yet again received another amazing piece from Ettika! The handmade designer jewelry company constantly leaves me thinking far too often about jewelry and how I will incorporate it into my daily outfits. This gold ‘Million Miles Away’ long chain necklace was created for a collection in corporation with Nordstrom, and was my best friend these past few weekends, as I wore it for days around the city, nights out with friends and for my birthday dinner paired with this gorgeous dress!

 

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It’s beautiful in a simple way, which is why it looks great with nearly every outfit! I loved wearing it with a white halter body suit, ripped jeans and a pair of nude heels. It made it glam easily and had me feeling incredibly chic. It ends just a bit past my belly button, which is perfect for a long necklace. It has a nice bohemian flow and isn’t overwhelmingly glitzy, and therefore can be either dressed up or down. The only negative about this piece is the small gem in the center piece doesn’t seem to be set in all the way; for the price of the piece I find that this is something a bit critical. It’s not something you want to see after spending $75 – not that all pieces will come this way, but mine did. It is very unnoticeable though, and is just me being a tad picky, mind it is my job to give you the most honest review!

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Overall, regardless of the minimal flaw, the piece is beautiful, effortless and timeless. Like I said, it can be worn with just about anything (as I say this I’m wearing it with a pair of black leggings and khaki tunic (; ) and it has become a critical piece to my wardrobe!

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See more bohemian, handmade jewelry from Ettika and get 15% off your order –> here. See more of their pieces in collab with Nordstrom at the Nordstrom Website http://www.Nordstrom.com

 

It’s Okay to Have Half-Assed Friends…

It wasn’t until this past weekend visiting home that I realized and understood what a good friend really is. I was dreading the thought of it – being home without a car, staying at my Grandmothers depressing house, having nowhere to even go! I knew the general routine – I spent time with my family and that was that. Rarely did I go home and spend any time with friends from home. It had gotten to the point that they have gone on with their lives without me. Yeah, we still kept in touch and were the same good pals we always were when we did hang out, but my effort was the only one that was present. Relentless texts and calls, to the point my brother snapped, “Are you kidding me? No, do not text her again. Why do you even try,” with a sassy ‘ugh’ and an eye roll. I realized then that I was just making a fool of myself. So, this weekend in particular, I made it clear in advanced that I would be home for the weekend. I wasn’t expecting them to drop their plans at my beck and call because I just so happened to be in town. Yet as predicted, they never called. But it was this visit home in particular that I truly felt I needed them, their comfort, the distraction. And still, nothing.

I had arranged a ride from the airport from a very close family friend who I have known for years, mainly for being best friends with my older brother, but had grown closer to me in the past year or so. She was there to get me, and how grateful I felt. I was intent on expressing my gratitude and desire to spend the day together after I got in, and we did just that. We had spoken briefly of spending some time the next day together as well, but I knew how that went. People have lives, they’re not always there to spend time with me when I need to. Life doesn’t stop for me, nor did I expect it to. It was destined to not happen. And yet it did. She was my mediator for an awkward brunch, my reliable driver and laughter for long car rides to visit my brother, my puppy cuddling, relationship gossiper for the rainy afternoon and she even chose dinner with me over it with her boyfriend. It was all so nonchalant, so natural, so easy. I went away, back to my second home, content and looking happily on the weekends visit – something I didn’t think I would feel. It was then that I realized good friends do exist, and after twenty-one years, I finally had one.

I’m a hopeless romantic, which means I’m an over-emotional, over-caring love giver in all types of relationships I get myself into, and it has always been hard to remember that not everyone is as caring and loving as I am. I would drop anything and everything for someone I care about, and never felt like anyone ever did the same in return, but that’s just who I am. Through much stress and frustration, it is not till this very day that for the first time I’m really starting to understand friendships, on a level I never thought possible, which is why I share this with you…

IT’S OKAY TO HAVE HALF-ASS FRIENDS. Lots of people half-ass their entire lives. Yeah, no, this is no excuse and doesn’t mean it’s okay to have bad friends, but it takes a lot of understanding to realize that even some of the half-ass ones are good friends.

A good friend is a different definition for everyone, but we all know the basic rules and that it takes caring and loving. It takes being there for that person when it really counts; maybe not for all of the weekend visits or random phone calls but when when they miss your birthday two times in a row, thats a deal breaker. When you need a shoulder and they’re never there, deal breaker. When you’re the one waiting all day to spend time with them and cancel all other plans and they go hang with other friends instead, deal breaker (yup, I’ve had to learn the hard way). These are pretty understandable things, but its tough realizing that not all people are going to be as caring as some, and they really just can’t. For many, it’s not in their genes. Not everyone is equal amounts of caring or giving or appreciative or reliable. And it’s not true, that ‘if they’re a real friend, if you really connect and bond and are soul mates, they will be the most caring and loving no matter what’ (this goes for relationships too). Its not like the movies for every person. It’s not all thoughtfulness and love and caring. they may not go to extremes for you like what you would do for them. It’s not taking it personally and understanding that that’s just who they are. It doesn’t mean that they’re not good friends, they may love you unconditionally, be there for you when it counts, and love you just as much as you love them, but don’t have the same level of understanding and ideals in terms of commitment and care that you do. But what makes people best friends are the ones who connects with you because you share the same level of understanding and desire in terms of being a good friend; they would do the same for you that you would do for them.

I’ve had a lot of half-assed friends. They most likely don’t see it as being half-assed, but i do just because I’m the type of person who gives it my everything, and it took my a long time to understand that IT’S OKAY, they’re still GOOD FRIENDS, they’re just not the same type of person I am. Any type of relationship requires balance and having needs fulfilled to make them flourish, but some people will never meet your needs and you either have to accept that they aren’t that type of person and love them anyway, or move on. Maybe you’re not the type to give it you’re all and wear your heart on your sleeve but you need a friend who is, and vice versa. It’s understanding the type of person you are, understanding the type of people you’re dealing with and what will come from the relationship, realizing what you need and accepting what you can’t have and loving them anyway. Man, life’s complicated, as are you and everyone else, and we’re all just trying to figure each other out, one step at a time. We’re all unique in our own way and it’s understanding peoples individualities that make it all so interesting. Therefore, always remember, everyone’s different, and it’s okay.

Falling in Love…

I do this really awful thing, called falling in love…

And I don’t do it casually. I do it madly, deeply, to an extreme; to the point my heart is spilled out on the floor and I’m dragging it wherever I go.

You see, I do this really awful thing, called falling in love… I engulf myself into the lives of others and make it mine, because why would they not love me more that way, involved in what they love? Why would I not love what they love, solely because such a beautiful person loves it? I get lost in the swirling sea of their life.

You see, I do this really awful thing, called falling in love… Their single glance, their tone, their actions towards me dictate my emotions and drowns my days. I take my dragging heart through woods, puddles, let it get stomped on by boots, and yet it still holds on and loves just the same. Maybe stronger because it was so weak.

And that’s why it’s such an awful thing, falling in love. I let my heart fall so brutally to the floor and leave a hole in my chest, with none left for me. It falls so quickly that it has no time to breathe, decide, realize…

Maybe one day, I’ll be a little wiser, softer, lovelier… Maybe one day, it won’t be such an awful thing, falling in love…

 

Creatively Being You Through Style…

It’s beautiful to see kids in their creative, imaginative state of mind, as they throw themselves around the floor pretending to be mermaids and superheroes. It’s just a carpet and a couch, but to them it’s another world and I instantly have flashbacks of how I played just the same as a child. I remember it being so real. I’d flap my mermaid tail in the pool and in those moments it would actually look like the ocean and the sharks would be coming for me; I could feel their pressure and the fear building up inside my chest. How amazingly is the imagination? It’s the magical getaway that I can now as an adult only experience when I go to sleep at night. Luckily for me, I dream nearly every single night and they’re always widely vivid and interesting, but to remember how as a kid you could transform your entire world into a faraway land and actually believe it and see it, is something I wish I could hold onto forever.

Of course it’s the imaginative types that are always claimed to be weird and strange as teens and adults. Like my old neighbor, who’s 16 and runs around his yard alone fighting Jedi’s with his light saber. Don’t get me wrong it can be a bit comical and strange, especially to other high-schoolers who leave their imaginations to gather dust in boxes in their attics; Yet he has so much more than many of us with his ability to use his imagination so vividly. Those are the creators. Unfortunately, at that age it’s all about being what’s “cool” and “popular”, not quirky and different.

I would sit in boring classes in high school and try to force myself to daydream. I wanted to feel the escape of a magical place with magical people and transport myself to my own fairy tale. But as I said, force. Sometimes out of the blue it would just happen, but when it disappeared I always wanted it back and could never reach it. I wanted that imaginative escape. Like those moments in the early mornings where you’re consciously asleep and can control the avenues of your dreams, those are beautiful, extraordinary moments.  I wanted the feeling of creativity.

I bring this up because creativity and the imagination has a lot to do with personal style, and overall being your own unique person. A creative mind has creative style. Style is how you express yourself. And if you’re just buying what everyone else has then are you expressing you?

In high school I wanted my creative genius to flow but it disappeared with tight pencil skirts and Victoria’s Secret sweatpants. I wanted me but I wanted to be “cool”, and I feel as though this is a mass consensus for high schoolers. Fortunately for me I am a creative person, even though many times in the past I have dampened it down. I found creativity in changing my hairstyle. It was an expressive freedom for me; there was no “cool” hairstyle. I love change and experimenting and I always did that with bold drastic cuts that got me called names like “alien space invader” and “helmet head”. Teenagers are always the prime suspects of criticism from their peers, and that’s the exact struggle with expressing yourself and growing into who you really are. Everyone always has something to say about everyone who’s just a little bit different.

I will always remember the best (back handed) compliment I ever received and of course it was in high school, “you wear the ugliest clothes but they look so good on you!” That’s exactly what I’ve always wanted and everything I believed, and still do, about my sense of style. And even now, because of my strange taste, I often don’t follow my first instinct. I care what my boyfriend will think of it, or what my family would say etc. Then I later regret not following my true desires and letting myself care what everyone else will think.

We grow up being pressured for approval and learn that acceptance should be the goal and therefore we try to be like everyone else, to act and dress like the media tells us to (just look at the mid length Kim K bodycon phase!). Even now with a fashion blog, the Instagram pictures I post that are the most basic and cliché, like a cup of Starbucks, get the most attention. I’m stuck somewhere in between wanting to have what’s popular style and wanting that that’s my own and I think that’s the same for many of us growing up in today’s culture. But that’s okay and it’s okay for you too, for everything you’re stuck between choosing and deciding to be in life. Always remember to choose what you want, not what everyone else wants or likes or is telling you to get. And don’t let the opinion of them sway you if they don’t like it. Maybe reevaluate what their opinion is before letting it affect your choice. Your choices, creativity, imagination, and desires are what make you you. Never neglect it.

 

Deeper Than Words Blog…

After some long thought, I have decided to make another blog! This one in particular is just for my writing. Poetry, creative writing, short stories, photography and inspiration from other writers, it will all be there. The title The Style Studies just didn’t suit my creative writing style 😛 so therefore, I’m introducing Deeper Than Words.  

Check it out and if you like what you see, follow subscribe & share! 

xo