happiness

To the Regina George’s, the Cinderella’s, and all the Carrie Bradshaw’s In-Between…

I’ve felt very strongly about this topic since I moved to one of the richest areas in America, and never felt more compelled to write an article about it than I do now…

Since I was 18 and left home I have been, with the help of very close loved ones who I am so very, dearly lucky to have, living ‘independently’  without the support of my family and it has been hard. Unable to get a loan, shattered credit, ruined chances of financial aid for school, shi**y incomes and no qualifications. I felt like every time I tried to take the next step I hit a new brick wall. A few thousand saved and I finally get a car and it lasts me a mere year. The struggle between wanting to have fun and enjoy now and planning for a future. Arguments on the phone with financial aid officials, trips to the hospital with no health care. The list truly does go on. And I know I’m not the only one young in their 20s and struggling. But here, in this affluent area of families and their cheeky children who think their parents wealth is theirs, I do feel like the only one.

It’s a tiresome, grey day in the glorified Northern VA (NOVA, as they say) and I’ve come to a red light for a left turn to go down a road that leads to a secluded gated community (shock). A grey Mercedes quickly pulls up next to me (shocker #2… don’t you love my sarcasm?) and a blonde head leans forward from the passenger seat and onto the dash, peering at me (past the blonde driver, nonetheless… ok, I swear this is a coincidence; blondes in a Mercedes, shocker #3). She bursts into laughter and they rush away, so fast that before I am even fully around the corner, they’re already turning into the community. What just happened? Is my hair that messy? I mean, I am rocking a pony with a bit of a crazed curl today… but I thought it looked good? What was she laughing at?

And then it hit me like a slap in the face; I’m driving a ’98 Volkswagen Cabrio and they’re swinging around the streets, platinum locks and rap music oozing out of the windows, and here I am, next to them. Why else would she have been staring at me laughing? She definitely couldn’t have been hating on the hair, it was a chaotic masterpiece to say the least. I felt disordered… They just laughed at me…!? And I didn’t even get a chance to flick them off!? I felt like they were Jessica Simpson in Public Affair 

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Or yet worse… the mean girls from White Chicks…

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And I was Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids

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Exactly… hilariously ridiculous to everyone else but taking myself way too seriously.

Alright people I know, there’s no reason to get butt-hurt over some snobby young girls in a Mercedes their Mommy and Daddy got them, and I’m not, but I’m sad. I’m sad for our generation. I’m sad for those girls. I’m sad for my adorable Cabrio named Val. I’m sad for the girls that do grow up getting bullied and real-hurt because of girls like this. As I walked in the door to see my boyfriend I moaned, “I hate young girls in this area. They’re such snobby, rich kids,” (…aka giphy

 

…) and he stopped me. “I’ve lived here longer than you have to find out for myself that there are a lot of people like that, but there are a lot who aren’t. Most of the people I know aren’t.” And of course I rebutted, but only because he made me realize I was being just like them. I was assuming all girls here are like those two (& the many others who I’ve met that are the same… I mean, I did have a point) but he was right. I was generalizing all girls in the area to be snotty, just like those girls were generalizing me to be a (clearly outrageously funny) loser. I was committing the same evil.

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So I write this to everyone, not just to the people who are struggling to be independent in their early 20s while their supported friends and randoms are driving in their parents Mercedes, or even new Toyotas; not just to the people who are obnoxiously flaunting their parents success, or the humble people who have nice things but aren’t, this is for all of you and everyone else. Be humble, stay humble. Be sweet and thoughtful and kind. There are a lot of people who don’t have nice things because they have chosen to make poor decisions in life, then there are people in life who don’t have the nicest things because they’re living a completely different life than you and are working hard every day to create a better life for themselves. There are people who have beautiful expensive things because their parents work hard so their kids can live a life filled with them, but also taught them the moral values of being a good person. How would I know if they were or weren’t a good person by the car they drive or clothes they wear? (unless they are laughing at you from their window…l o l ) Respect that. Respect that everyone has a story to tell and never judge a book by its cover. Be grateful for your assets, big or small, and just always, always, always be kind. You never know what someone else may be going through and how much a small pinch of kindness can change everything. And lastly, to the bullies who think their parents money is theirs, who think money makes you better than others, you’re losing out. You’re losing out on all the things that money can’t buy; respect, kindness, and the people in life that you’ll meet that come along with those values.

(*drops the mic*)

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(I swear, we really are the same person)

Alex

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lovely Words: All About You

I’ve been having to make a lot of life decisions lately. I’m young, I have time, I have chances to make mistakes and grow, but I’m finding my way and trying to make it along my path as bump free as possibly. I’ve been increasingly looking and taking steps to be more present in my own life rather than just in others. Making yourself a priority is the most important and best thing you can do. Do little things for yourself – get your nails done, go see a movie, read a book, get a massage, go to a fashion show. Always look for the next thing you can do to excite yourself and delight yourself. Here are some of my favourite quotes that are the perfect daily reminders to make your life about YOU. And to always stay optimistic. Happiness and optimism are a mindset.

Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.”

You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, although in honesty, having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.” -Emery Allen

An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” -Goi Nasu

Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.” -Mandy Hale

To those who stay put, the world is but an imaginary place. But to the movers, the makers, and the shakers, the world is all around them, an endless invitation.”

“There’s nothing more exhausting then trying to make the wrong person happy. Make you happy, first. Then eliminate all else that doesn’t.” -Reyna Biddy

Enjoy your weekend.

XO,

A

Lovely Words: With the Sunshine

“AND SO WITH THE SUNSHINE AND THE GREAT BURSTS OF LEAVES GROWING ON THE TREES, JUST AS THINGS GROW IN FAST MOVIES, I HAD THAT FAMILIAR CONVICTION THAT LIFE WAS BEGINNING OVER AGAIN WITH THE SUMMER.`”
• F. SCOTT FITZGERALD, THE GREAT GATSBY (VIA THATSQUOTEABLE)
xo, A

Tips For a Broken Heart

We’ve all been there… We’ve all struggled with this… And trust me, you’re not a human if you didn’t do some stupid things after a bad breakup. Here are some of my best tips to surviving heartache –

1. REFRAIN YOUR EMOTIONS FROM SOCIAL MEDIA

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Alright guys…. We all understand you are hurt and clearly all the aspects of your breakups and reasoning, but COME ON. Putting all of your emotions all over twitter is just embarrassing – trust me. It happens to everyone and even I have been in the position quite a few times. It feels amazing and pretty darn okay in the moment when your emotions are overflowing and you want that little cheating piece of crap to be made a fool, but really… Either no one cares, or they do and are just laughing at you. Yeah, you will definitely get some sympathy. But go to your friends, not your randoms.

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2. THROW AWAY EVERYTHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF THEM

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It’s so hard, right!? Ugh, I know. There may have been some bad times, but all of the memories you keep of them and sweatshirts, movie tickets, etc. are good memories. IT DOESN’T MATTER – throw that shit out. They will make you think about all of those good times and that’s the last thing you need!!! Dwelling over the past won’t get you anywhere, honey. Throw that trash out along with him. And don’t try to give it back to him either (don’t follow Sarah Silverman after her break up with Jimmy Fallon….), just put it in the trash. It will not only give you a great feeling of satisfaction of sealing it in your past, but giving him his things back just allows him to have more things that he probably wants or needs! No no no, lets let him suffer a little.

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3. AVOID LOVE MOVIES, SONGS, ETC.

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Don’t fantasize about the could haves, would haves, should haves. They aren’t. Throw on your favorite pair of sexy jeans and listen to some hot mama music. Feel sexy and get some confidence back. Here are some of my favorite tracks –

Break Your Heart Right Back – Ariana Grande

Everybody Knows (Douchebag) -Dustin Tavella

I Hate Boys – Christina Aguilera

Vanity – Christina Aguilera

Dirty Talk – Wynter Gordon

Motivation – Kelly Rolland

Hell On Heels – Pistol Annies

Flawless – Beyonce

Fancy – Iggy

Partition – Beyonce

And many more out there… just do some digging (;

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4. DISTRACTIONS ARE KEY

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All of those boys from back then when you were single, hit ’em up ladies. Some innocent attention will never hurt! It’s an amazing distraction, flirting. Go on a few dates! Who cares! A few texting buddies is the perfect way to boost confidence and create a distraction. Let them tell you how beautiful you are! Let them want you and chase you! Hard to get. Which leads us to our next major heartbreak no-no……

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5. DON’T GO BOY CRAZY

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Yes ladies, I know revenge is ever so sweet, but don’t do that to yourself. It really, really won’t help – just maybe make you look a bit desperate. Stay out of the bedroom with your rebounds. Let them make you feel sexy and want you, but don’t give it away. Keep them on a leash, always wanting but never getting. Then your distractions won’t fade (;

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6. NIGHTS OUT WITH THE GIRLS

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FORGET THE GUYS! You need some girl time. Put on some sexy heels, show those legs, and get your dancing on. Oh, and the shots too.

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7. RETAIL THERAPY

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Ahhhhh, yes. Being upset and using “retail therapy” is always my favorite excuse to spend money. We may not all be able to be the Carrie Bradshaw’s or Blair Waldorf’s of the world, but spending a tiny bit more than normal is A-OK!

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8. TALK IT OUT…. A LITTLE.

Your friends are always (supposed to be) there for you. Talk, cry, laugh, express your feelings and look for advice from them… Letting it all out is good, great actually. But there’s a stopping point. Not everyone wants to hear your love drama every time you’re with them, the entire time. After the first week of being a single woman, don’t have daily rambles about the breakup, him, or his new bait. It’s not good for your friendships or your mentality. Put it behind you. The less you talk about it, the more it will disappear. Dwelling is never good. And don’t feel like a little kid if you need to let it out and write in a journal – it always works like a charm for me 🙂

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9. JUNK FOOD THERAPY

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Get all of your favorite foods – screw your diet for a day or two. Oh, and the gym! Let yourself relax and embrace all of your favorite delights. But just remember to get yourself together after a day or two… Lets not create any bad habits to mask the hurt…

10. DO YOUR FAVORITE THINGS… AND TRY NEW ONES.

Don’t go to your exes and your favorite restaurants anymore… Those are in the past (for now). Try the new place on the block, the place he never wanted to try, go hiking, take a new class at the gym, try horseback riding. Get creative! Embrace all of your favorite hobbies and try new things.

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Hope this helps. Laugh a little more xo

·A