creative writing

like cigarettes

this coffee tastes like cigarettes.
it reminds me of our mornings
tangled in bed
ashes burning
smoke churning.
i’d look at you
through rays of grey
the first sunshine
of the day
peeking through
and over you.

this coffee tastes like cigarettes.
it reminds me of the times
that we bled.

a.absi

Advertisements

You are right 

i knew what love was then
i had felt it
i had flown
grown
melted
and burned in it

and while every love
was different
they were all the same
compared to you
you see
they were all wrong
and you
are right

a.absi

i am not broken

I found home in myself.
And when I did that, nothing else mattered. My pains ached a little less. My walls deteriorated. My heart had seeded flowers.
I found home in myself.
And when I did that, everything else mattered. My pains were not sadness and anger, they were growth. My vulnerability was a blessing. My heart did not fear blooming.

a.absi

healthy love

our love is like an eclipse.

you, as whole as the moon.
me, as whole as the sun.
us, merging together as one.

if that’s not the most beautiful thing…

– a.absi, healthy love

you are not them

i am trying to not
make you pay for their mistakes
i am trying to teach myself
you are not responsible
for the wound
how can i punish you
for what you have not done
you wear my emotions
like a decorated army vest
you are not cold or
savage or hungry
you are medicinal
you are not them

-rupi kaur

 

image via tumblr 

needing comfort is called being human

i am strong
but that does not mean
i do not crumble
and when i crumble
my ears
ache for your voice
my skin
shivers for your touch
but that does not mean
i am weak.

-comfort is a part of being human

a.absi

image via tumblr

the light at no end

even after all this time
even after all the lies
even after all the pain
and all the times
my eyes did rain
you were the light
at the end of the tunnel.

you were the light
and the tunnel
and you see
that’s what got me.

a.absi

 

image taken by me in Santa Barbara, CA… See more at aalexphoto.tumblr.com

Flourish

And maybe I’m not numb.
For the first time in my life
I am genuinely happy.

Not for an hour
Not for a day
Not even for a week…

But for months
And months
And months
Without any fall.

Those moments of darkness have died
Along with him
And I missed it.

That darkness was a close friend of mine.
The closest friend I had for years.

That part of me has died.

And now
I flourish.

a.absi

Three Words

this is why i didn’t want to say it

once it leaves my lips it’s there
in the air
twisting in the wind for eternity
and i feel it everywhere
i’m swimming in it
drowning rather

i let it get me
i let it take me under
and i hate it

i hate you on my mind all the time
its exhausting and i have insomnia
i told you it would come
i told you it would end this way
self sabotage is my best friend
and she never lets me down

a.absi

img via tumblr.

10/19

When someone starts to go out of their way to make your life easier (especially when your life is pretty complicated and exhausting) it does, in result, make your life much easier. But in exchange, it adds difficulty to theirs.

And I know, those who give should not expect in return.
And I know, those who go out of their way to help someone are doing it out of their own will.

But it must, at some point, become damaging to the person and/or the relationship as a whole.

And I know, that the taker can give back in return in other ways, but what if it doesn’t compare?
What if it isn’t enough?
What is it isn’t as often?

Is this what leads us to expectations and standards? And when they stops expending, is this what leads us to feel unloved and conclusively lead to downfall?